Some say when they’re depress, they eat a lot of foods. Others they go hang out, have some fun and merry ’til early morning. For my case, I watch movies and most of the times alone inside my room or if budget permits, go watch a movie in a cinema but still most of the times alone. When I’m stressed at work, I’ll make sure I’ll grab a movie at the nearest mall after work. And even if I already watched all the movies in my shelf, I will still grab one and watch it again if budget is constraint or I don’t have any new downloads.

But what fascinates me most of the times is the part where it shows all the important people who played significant part in the movie – the credits – where all people who played good will be there, as well as those villains; the minor roles and people behind the scene; the theme songs; the executive producer and lastly the director.

If my life is a movie, who will comprise my credits? Most probably my mom will be one of the starring roles: my bestfriend will still stand as my bestfriend; most of my closest friends will also in the list; some might stand as heartbreakers; others super villains; for sure there will be neighbors or extras played by some acquiantances; no need for stuntmen for I will do my own stunts; soundtrack will be provided by all the bands that I’ve had with either ‘Enemy Within’ or ‘Ode from Nowhere’ as the official theme song; executive producer will still be me, ala-Mel Gibson who produces a movie while he’s the main character of the movie.

Lastly, I hope my Father will be the director of the movie and not me. At the end of it all, all I want to be is to become a man after His own heart. So that if the day comes that the final curtain will ravel, He will tell with a tap on my shoulder that I did a great, blockbuster movie.

I just thought, it’s been a year when I seriously pursuit you, the same period that I got to know your imperfections and yet consider them perfect.

You never heard something from me about the things you indirectly demand from me. Yet still insist you’re not demanding. But then again, I said sorry and I just continued my love.

I didn’t tell you how important to me confidentiality is yet how many times you devour that essential part of me. But then again, it didn’t matter because all I know is I love you and I cannot change you. What I know is I love what’s you.

I told you my essentials are of mom’s: understanding, knows how to place herself in any difficult situation, forgiving, benevolent, piety and doesn’t keep an account of flaws. But I didn’t tell you that you failed to meet the last and yet, I kept on telling myself that love is above all essentials. All I can say is sorry on each time that those accounts are repeatitively brought up.

I told you that I sacrificed my career just to be with you and opted not to follow my boss’ command because I want that day to be yours. And even that caused me to almost be fired and have an unstable relationship with my superiors, all I want to think of is that I just hope you thought of my sacrifices and pain before telling me it’s over. But because I love you so much, all I can say when you said goodbye is ‘thank you’.

But then again, I learned a lot of things from you. It doesn’t matter how much you learned from me. This whole year is over now for me, and I’m letting you go in all of your aspect within me, including my hope of someday, we’ll still end up together.

Had a talk with mom. So you decided again to get your kids and live for your own. By now, we’re expecting to really do your part as a parent. And we hope you won’t be returning your kids in mom’s place again when the time that you can’t stand again as a parent.

You have the opportunity now to look for your kids. Please spend quality time with them, rather than wasting your time playing games meant for kids. I don’t care if you have a relationship right now, all I care is the welfare of your kids. By now, we’re expecting you to surpass our contributions we did to your kids; finances, attention, upbringing and hopefully they’ll be good. And hopefully, in spiritual aspect too. I don’t know how faithful you are in your religion and how good you had changed, but hopefully you just walk your talk so that your kids will know that they have someone to follow – by good example.

Lastly, let us know if you won’t allow the kids to be here in Singapore this coming december. I don’t want to brag yourself from the debts that you owe me and mom, from your unpaid phone bills to your credit card bills. Rest assured, it will be the very last time that you’ll be taking advantage of either me or mom. Take this as a threat. Money is just money and it can always be replaced. But if there’s one thing you can’t replace in us, it’s trust.

You’re on your own now, including your kids, so make sure you do your part this time. We’ve had enough; mom had enough. For the sake of those people who still consider you as family, please try to respect them.

By the way, I have one request and I don’t mind if you’ll grant it or not. Since your decision to transfer Mico to the other school will make him loose his scholarship, let him just finish his studies for this year before you transfer him to the other schools.

Your brother for the last time,
Almin

Thanks Popoy for a very good movie night. It’s been a while, like 3-4 months of not seeing everyone except the drummer boy. Thanks babuys for the quality time the next day, especially those who spent money to treat the whole gang. I started to appreciate sweets now, especially ice cream and cakes. Savior treats.

It’s good that there are friends who can always give rain coats in times of rainy season. God bless you all.

What if there are only two colors?
What if the world is either black or white?
What if love is not red but white?
Will it be more pure?
Or what if it is black?
Can you see how dark love is?
What if there are only two choices?
Yes or No?
Left or right?
Good or bad?

What if life can only be traveled in two ways?
Which way will you go?
What path will you choose?
Stop or go?
Heaven or hell?

What if there are only black and white people?
Will there be still discrimination?
Which color is for slavery?
Which color is for power?
Will the world be like a chess game?
Kill the other and let the king remain?

Black or white?
Both are absence of color.
Be thankful God made the others.
To make life meaningful and colorful…

Do you know what it feels like to do something you’ve been longing to do? I’ve been in a state of madness this year because I received a lot of gifts from Him and those things were the one that even in my wildest dreams I won’t be doing. Ecstatic, I am!

I’m a big fan of Rivermaya. I completed their albums, half of them carefully downloaded from the internet (full albums). Thankfully, when I had enough money to buy CDs, I had the chance to buy all their albums from ‘Between Stars and Waves’ to present (except the recent ‘Bagong Liwanag’). The idolism for this band continued even when they decided to go in separate ways and later on, old members formed a new group which now called ‘Bamboo the band’ while the others continued the legacy of Rivermaya. Yes, I’m bald for a very long time but Bamboo Maňalac was not the reason why I decided to become one.

Before, I used to attend the band’s album launching gigs to get a fresh copy of their album and get it signed by the members. I even had a chance to have a photo with the band. During those days, I already had a band and those instances made me dream of sharing a stage with them (and the other is with PhilHarmonic Orchestra). Noypi and Mr. Clay were the most used up songs for me because these were our ‘pondos’ in Pablikschul (my band in Philippines).

When I left the Philippines, I told myself that one of the things I will surely miss will be the OPM scene.

Now as for myself, when I left a band here in SG, I was idle for 1 week. And then, another week. And then, after that, Popoy became the centrefold of my music life here in Singapore.

After some sessions, Kapopoy Bergs broke the news – we’ll front act for Bamboo. Ecstatic, that’s what I felt. My first gig with them, God knows how thankful I am.

After weeks of practices, the big day came. Anxious… I am. What if the crowd won’t like us? What if they overpowered our amplifiers with their roaring yell “Bamboo! Bamboo!”. ‘E pano takot ka sa sarili mong multo…’ are the exact phrases I kept on telling to myself. ‘Isa ka kasi dun sa mga gumagawa ng ganun kapag nasa crowd ka’. Thankfully, I was able to calm myself. Acceptance – just play hard and sing hard, that’s all I wanted, that made me calm.

We’re on the band area at the Arena the whole time we’re waiting for our turn, watching other performers do the front-acting for Bamboo. I kept on observing the audience. Behave, they were! So I kept on telling myself, ‘walang groupie, ayus!’. Deep breath, then it’s our time to go to the backstage. Before our turn, candidates of Ms. Earth Singapore were presented. Partially, the crowd went wild. Some were trying to draw some attention so that they can have a chance to be with the ladies. After that, now it’s our turn.

When we’re about to start, people started to rush in front of the stage, partially wilder that before. There was supposedly a barrier there but in a blink of an eye, the front location was crowded by a lot of people. Maybe, we got their attention when I mentioned we prepared songs from Wolfgang, Razorback and Metallica.

Bass lines started. It was ‘Mata ng Diyos’ from Wolfgang. Pretty smooth in the beginning, but as expected, my consistency to sing it powerfully failed. Though, it’s minor, but still a failure. Hehe. ‘Payaso‘ by Razorback was next. Same spirit, same vibes. I really love what I’m seeing. The crowd is with us, headbanging, raising hands with rock on sign, shouting and singing. It’s like the good old days… when rock and roll rules the OPM scene. I love the way people responded to ‘Weightless’ by Wolfgang. And so with our last song, ‘King Nothing’ from Metallica.

I’m a wacko performer; I perform the way I want to. I have a slight touch of stage fright, and being wacko is my way not to mess up. I’ve been doing it before, and I did the same for Popoy. But that was the first time I really felt what a performance should be – connection to the audience. I felt the reception was good, and many affirmed to that even after the gig.

The feeling was great, really great. After our turn, I seated in a table at the backstage, catching up my breath, thinking about the whole thing and smiling while thanking the Lord for a very good night. Bandmates giving a ‘tap on my shoulder’ added up to my reasons to smile. And I kept on smiling. It’s my first time to play music with them. I even wished that this won’t be the last time that we will be given the opportunity to be ecstatic again. And so, I’ll keep on wishing.

We waited for the Bamboo; it’s one of the perks for having an access to backstage. When they came, we immediately grabbed our digicams and tried to have a photo with the band members. I’ve seen them and met them before, and I know that they’re not snob just like what other impressed them to be nor had this angst, rocker attitude. Bamboo himself is even the most eager to have a photo with the fans.

I’ve watched them a lot of times, even the 3 consecutive years that they performed here in Singapore. But even if I heard their songs a hundred times, watching them live still gives a fresh look of what they can offer as one of the mainstream performers of Philippines music industry. I forgot their whole line-up that night, but it was blast, a very good night. With Bamboo, every gig is just like the first and with full of surprises. Awesome! Simply awesome!

That night was the happiest day of my music life. It surpassed my moments of completing 2 songs for all Banda Fantastica series that I’ve written, performed and were rated top-notched. Maybe because it’s Bamboo, everyone’s idol; maybe because it was a dream that became a reality; or maybe because the chance of having us to share the stage with them is a very rare opportunity and God allowed that to happen to us. For sure, the latter one is true.

It’s been a couple of weeks when we did the front-act for Bamboo. I, personally, am really happy when people who watched the band performed keep telling us that we did a great job. Until now, people are still sending messages to us about the gig, sending their kudos for the band. Hearing people say ‘sya ung nagfront act sa Bamboo’ in a public place is sometimes flattering but most of the times, causes me some goosebumps and be wary. Nevertheless, times like these, that we’re getting regards from people who appreciate us, will be the best way to keep our feet on the ground and enkindle the value of gratefulness and humility.

Popoy, becoming your new front man gave me a lot of anxieties and pressures at first coz I know prior to me, you got someone who’s better in many ways. Or maybe I’m just thinking that sometimes we can’t replace the original one. I even saw the tight brotherhood you all have inside the group when I first came in – impressive, I must say. And I may not be vocal about it, but as I have mentioned before we stepped up on stage, deep within me is the feeling of gratitude towards the band, for accepting me to be part of the group and for the opportunity to appreciate music with all of you guys. Thanks! More to come…

I wish I can thank every people who sent us messages of congratulations and kudos. Thank you very much for the support, for appreciating every little thing we’re trying to do and for giving us a ‘tap on our shoulders’ for a job well done. Thank You very much for those who attended the gig and witness the rare opportunity given to us to be with our idol and share the same stage with them. Please continue to pray for us so that we will be guided correctly by Him thru right values and not be troubled by fame (if I am to quote that). Please continue supporting us.

Bamboo the band, you rock!

PinoySunday organizers, you may all have destructors right now, but seeing the brighter side of everything, I am one of those people who keeps on thanking you for bringing OPM scene here in Singapore. Thank you for giving us the chance to perform with Bamboo. Rest assured, my support will be with you all the way.

Filsg, thanks for featuring PoPoY in your web site.

Of course, to our greatest Audience whom we should please. Thank you Father for that big blessing, for the great gift of music and for the guidance. Thank you for hearing our heart’s desires. Amidst the brokenness we may each have in our lives, thru this we learn to see the good side of things and focus more on what we can do to glorify You. You rock, Father! You rock! \m/

For all of these, may God be praised!

Of all the things I want to do outside if I have with me a set of camera and guts is to take pictures and see the life of others within my viewfinder. I love travel and I love dealing with people – people that most might think ordinary ones doing ordinary things. But there are things that most people don’t really see that makes ordinary people extraordinary.

Aside from landscape, these are the areas that I want to do – street and travel photography.

What makes street and travel photography so special? Aside from the fact that these areas don’t normally require the subjects to pose for the photographer nor requires highly technical setups, there’s only thing you must capture in these areas – MOMENT. And it makes you contemplate on a lot of things when you already captured the moment, a lot of titles to think, a lot of extraordinary meaning to find out, a lot of definition to encapsulate with the photo and most of all, a lot of lessons to dig so that people who will be seeing the photo can be touched too. For sure, that’s how I see those things.

Photos taken for this course makes you think how simple life can be, how fortunate you are and how you should be thankful of what you are, how happy they are inspite of life issues and unfortunate events in their lives, how they feel that time, how you are able to relate to them and many reasons to iterate. In short, it’s a course of how it affects you.

There are a lot of reasons to think why people are into photography. Nevertheless, what makes a photographer sensible and blissful is because he sees whatever he sees in a viewfinder beyond the concept of art and technicalities – that what he sees is life and from there, something rational and valuable should be drawn not just to affect his own life, but to contribute positive change to others. I think that makes sense.

I haven’t posted anything here in my blog so I decided to put this intead. Got this from Lizzie, a friend from PinoyGraphers@SG. I would say, the result is 99% true. Take the same test here.

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Sensitive Doers are gentle, modest and reserved persons. They cope well with everyday life and like their privacy. With their quiet, optimistic nature, they are also good, sought-after listeners and other people feel well in their company. All in all, this type is the most likeable and friendliest of all personality types. Tolerance and heir regard for others distinguish their personality. They are very caring, generous and always willing to help. They are open to and interested in everything that is new or unknown to them. However, if their inner value system or their sense of justice is hurt, Sensitive Doers can suddenly and surprisingly become forceful and assertive.

Sensitive Doers enjoy the comforts life offers to the full. They are very happy in everyday life. Sensitive Doers are often gifted artists or very good craftsmen. Creativity, imagination and an especially keen perception are just a few of their strong points. Sensitive Doers are very presence-oriented; long-term planning and preparations do not appeal to them. They take life as it comes and react flexibly to daily demands. They do not like too much routine and predictability. Their talents come more to the fore when work processes are variable and there are not so many rules. Sensitive Doers like to work alone; if they are part of a team, they do not get involved in competitive or power games and prefer living and working together harmoniously and openly.

Sensitive Doers are completely satisfied with a small, close circle of friends as their need for social contacts is not very marked. Here, too, they avoid conflicts – quarrels and disputes put considerable strain on them. Sensitive Doers are often very fond of animals and are very good with small children. As partner, this type is loyal and reliable and is willing to invest a lot in a relationship. Mutual respect and tolerance are very important to Sensitive Doers. Their love of pleasure makes them a pleasant companion with whom one can experience intensive moments. They like to look after their partner with attentiveness and small gifts and are very sensitive to the partner’s needs – often more than to their own. However, should they meet the wrong person, they run the risk of being taken advantage of. They are then deeply disappointed.

There are a lot of things that makes life so ironic – your life, your relationship, your everything. I guess it’s really part of living in this sinister place called earth. It’s part, that’s why it really sucks.
 
There are people that you thought they are your best of friends, people you can rely on because they give you advises, makes you fell accepted and they are always there when you needed them most. You even thought so, because you have the same wavelength with them, have the same interest and have the same disposition in life. But at your back, they’re cursing you and they’re the one telling bad things about you to others.
 
Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?
 
There are people whom you fought for them, but at the end they left you unwanted after the fight. There are people you left because you felt they didn’t fight for you, but at the end they stood for you to fight. There are people whom you treated brother, but at the end they made you feel unrelated. There are people you thought you should not relate to, but at the end, they even treated you like a blood brother. There are people whom you thought you can call them when you’re down; but the truth is, they’re the first people who turned you down. There are people whom you thought you can’t rely on them when needed; but they’re the first people who rescued you when you’re in trouble. There are people whom you assured you won’t leave them no matter what, but in fact, they’re the one who wants you to leave. Ironically, there are people who didn’t leave your side even if you don’t acknowledge them doing it most of the times.
 
Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?
 
How I wish friends can really be friends and live out to its truest meaning. But sometimes, it’s not; that even your slightest enemy you thought of will be your friend at the very end. Yeah, that’s really ironic.

“Ode From Nowhere” is a new song I composed for Banda Fantastica 3. It’s the second original song performed by Transient Attack (my band) and my first composition for this year. Supposedly, the band will not be taking part in the recently compiled BF3 album due to some band concerns, but it was a test of how far the band can go while members are tested for bandhood.

I wrote the song during the time that I felt the world was not on my side and unfortunate series of events happened in my life. It was during the composition month when (1) my nephew (godson/foster child) had pneumonia, (2) my close cousin died, (3) my dad had a stroke 2 days before my birthday, (4) my cousin’s mom was bedridden after her death, and (5) my closest uncle died. All these things happened in just one month and the lyrics of the song was gradually revised to depict what I have in my heart and mind during that period.

“Ode From Nowhere” is a story of broken people in a lot of ways. May it be because of money, fortune and luck, family, job, business, relationship, anything. It is a story of something that broken people hope to achieve and that is to at some point be on top in everything they wanted to achieve. “Ode From Nowhere” is a story of my life.

The song is the summation of the experiences I undergone during the course of my life here on earth. It was a dream to write a song about my life, and this was the fulfillment of that dream.

There were a lot of instances (and still there are) in my life that I feel I’m an outcast. And even if I tried to mingle with people; that same feeling strikes me most of the times, makes me wonder if I really established strong bond with people. This is eminent with my past and present peer and social groups. It pains me inside if someone forgets or dumps me without any reasons, or any loved ones connected to me (e.g. family, friends). This is what “am I a failed exile now, standing on a semi-tonal scene” (pre-verse) is all about. This is the main reason why I grew up enjoying things alone and be in a place where serenity rules the place.

The first verse simply depicts the anger I feel inside because of life showbizness and politics. Anger for those people who judges; who mocks; who backstabs; who treats people good but deep inside isolates them in a lot of ways; who uses friendship for personal gain; who always whines or complains about life; who loves showbizness and keeps minding other people’s lives; who loves politics and keeps on seeing other people’s faults rather than theirs; who manipulates people; and who praises God inside the “church” and yet don’t know God and don’t imply godliness when outside. That when you let these kinds of people be in your life, you’ll end up like being controlled and misled (“falling in a stupid show”).

Chorus simply depicts the desire to end all those dirty businesses up. The part

“and I’ll soar up high and fly, to that place I will go, to a place where all fear go”

merely means:

“Lord, You’re all I want always. Draw me close into Your arms coz I wanna be with You in heaven. Where there’s no fear and rejection, where all are deaf and can’t speak bad things about others, where all are blind and can’t see faults from others and can’t judge others, where there’s no showbizness and politics.”

Behind the lines of the chorus is the hope to be exalted from the worldly principles and hounds. Behind those lines is the hope of someday, broken people will be on that day that they will experience God’s wonders that are incomparable to earthly standards.

“Brave” impersonates – those people who think they are great; those who assume they take control; those who boast of their skills and forgets their roots; those who whine about work and still proud they don’t care if they’ll be kicked off; ask more but work less; give comment yet knows nothing; give something but with personal credit; “love” someone and yet picking another one for fun; blasphemers; and those who don’t value relationships – whether family, friends or something for long-termed ones.

Second verse is an answer to the first verse and a personal decision not to fall to any of those worldly fences. The bridge is the realization of being misled and blinded by others. Last part is the answer to the first part of the song.

This is a story of someone who grew up in broken family, broken society, broken finances and in some point lived a broken life. This is the story of my life – and of some who desires to end the melancholy of this world.

For the whole lyrics, please refer below:

Ode From Nowhere (5:07)
(words by A. Manalo. music by Transient Attack)

Am I a failed exile?
And standing on a semi-tonal scene
Am I living a life from nowhere?
In a place that I’ve never been

The world and death will get along
To a solitary cell of angry, angry paradigm
Life’s a match in a death row
Cursing worth that they all know
And selling soul to lurkers
Like falling in a stupid show

Chorus:
And I’ll soar up high and fly
To that place, I will go
To a place where all fear go
And I’ll soar up high and fly
It’s time for all the broken to rise
It’s time for all the brave to fall

And I’ll count the ways to fall into debt
Life’s saturation, it’s slowly fading and it’s slowly ending
I’m a match in this death row
Curse my worth that they all know
I won’t sell my soul to lurkers
Won’t fall for a stupid show

Repeat Chorus

Coz somebody told me the wrong way…
Coz somebody told me the wrong way…
Coz somebody told me the wrong way…

Repeat Chorus

I’m a failed exile now
Rebuilding a semi-tonal scene
Writing down an ode from nowhere
In a place that I’ve been

Thanks to Mr. Noypee for giving us another notch as the best track (again) for BF3 album. Kudos sir. To my bandmates, stay humble or else I’ll kick your asses out of the band =). To PhilMusicSG, thanks for the another ground to showcase filipino talents. To my friends, thanks for supporting me since day 1 (Gashaus days) of my music days here in Singapore. To my family, don’t worry; we’re on our way to that kind of comfortable life we’re all dreaming of. To the Almighty, this song is offered to you Father. Thanks for rocking my world.